Naming the spirit: Spiritual Abuse

Spiritual Abuse. I came upon this term just recently and am fast realizing how important it is. See, for one reason or another, my relationship with the church resembles more the response of someone who has been abused, someone now trying to overcome that past and live for present relationships, than anything else. My personal struggles to return to the church, to worship with a church, and to participate in a church are constantly enacted against a hyper-sensitive flight-instinct that can only be the product of abuse.

Now, before the eye rolling begins. Before you expect to see me on Oprah. Let me say that I am not alone. Indeed, I can think of many people I know who are similarly effected. Some of you reading this are exactly whom I mean, and you know it. Or maybe you haven’t quite put your finger on it yet, but there it is: Spiritual Abuse. I am actually writing this in the hope that you will begin learning about this, just as I am starting to learn about it.

So what is spiritual abuse? Spiritual abuse arises from the same place that every other abuse arises: from a defecit of love where love should have been expected. No, worse than this: from a situation in which one’s expectation of love was misused and thus one was manipulated or assaulted instead. But when I talk about spiritual abuse, I am talking about abuse that has preyed on one’s religious hopes and fears. And, really, when you get down to it, I’m talking about pastors. But, what about other voices? Here is at least one.

Ron Henzel is the founder of a ministry to victims of spiritual abuse called Rest Ministries. Henzel defines spiritual abuse as follows. He says, "Spiritual Abuse" occurs when those practices and behaviors that are normally associated with cults and their leaders manifest themselves within groups that profess to adhere to evangelical Christianity.” Indeed, he makes no difference when it comes to manipulative practices between cults and churches, saying, it is not necessary to shy away from referring to some groups as "cults" simply because they affirm traditional Christian doctrine… no specific theological point-of-view is attached to the word "cult" in the English language.” The central issue is the nature of leadership. “All that is needed for abuse is a pastor accountable to no one and therefore beyond confrontation.” (Churches That Abuse, 189)

Henzel goes on to list the specific problem areas that identify a church or group that is abusive. These are: Manipulation; authoritarianism; elitism; denunciation of outsiders; spiritual intimidation; legalism; false unity; excessive discipline; coercive confession and a painful exit process. His website is definitely worth a look, as well as the fantastic blog-report at Wittenberg Gate. Let me close this post with a bullet list from another website I came across as it lists eleven marks of perverted authority. They are:

1. The claim of direct authority from God, rather than testing things by the Word. Many today have set "personal" revelation and experience above the final authority of God's Word. When this occurs there is no longer any basis for ascertaining the will of God, as one would not be able to discern truth from error because the standard is "personal" rather than the Word of God.
   
2. The command is to "submit to me," rather than "I will serve you."
   
3. The method of leadership is to "order" people around, rather than to appeal for them to do the right things.
   
4. There is a dominating, "pushy" drive instead of a dependence on God to direct.
   
5. There is a sense of control, rather than a sense of support.
   
6. A gift is exploited so that others are made to feel dependent on it.
   
7. There is inflexibility - "don't question me" - "don't touch the Lord's anointed."
   
8. There is unapproachability and intimidation - the "aura" around the leader keeps the followers in "awe."
   
9. There emerges an organization built around a man and his peculiar emphases instead of around Christ and His Word.
   
10. There will be cyclical challenges to the authority figure (which are immediately and forcefully purged).
    
11. There is more concern for maintaining the authoritarian structure than there is for caring about the people in it.