You were in flight with my heart

You’ve been struggling. I know you have. Distracted. Busy. Full of energetic inquizity. When you sing, you sing. When you run, you run. You jump and hop and want desperately to seize upon the rudest word possible and set it off like firecrackers in the quietest of rooms. And oh my, you are so six. And oh my, the adults around you can barely keep themselves sane, and you know it. You giggle and do that in-your-face roar like you do, and poke the kid next to you, and I know that you know deep down that not everyone is happy with that, and you don’t know why. And so we come to yesterday. A hot afternoon. You were still in soccer cleats and pads. But you suited up to ride your bike and you did. Badly. Not your fault. Those training wheels, once friends, were foes, and I wondered if you were ready. But everything about you is ready. You are so ready. You are like water spilling over the edge of Niagara. You are like a rocket raging furiously against the earth shuddering before it rises. So I took off those wheels and we walked back into the road. You did not hesitate. Then you are in your seat, and we are running together, and then you take over under my hands and I stop running and let go. And you did not stop or look back. You were in flight with my heart. Wow! Wow! Look at you. Fireworks! And when you came back, we high-fived, we were two boys who just made fire, we waved our arms, we were kings in the street. Wow! I hope you remember this tonight when you’re doing those sums of all things alone in your bed, when you’re counting all the words and images and thoughts and things, and planning your escapes and adventures. I hope you store this golden shiny thing in your heart and take it out just to look at it in the hallway light. I hope I find it curled in your sleeping fist when I check on you, so I can set it on your bookshelf and admire it too.

Design on a Dime

I love redecorating, and sick as it sounds, I love the challenge of doing it on a very tight budget!

Over the weekend Caleb complained that his room wasn't what he liked. And, he was right, it was decorated according to the sports border that was up when we moved in. He asked for race cars-- specifically anything Disney/Pixar Cars 2. Ok-- Mommy can work with that! And -- I'm leaving the really nice sports border up while doing it!

#1. Colors! Luckily the colorscheme in the room could stay the same and shift to a cars theme - no new paint job required!

#2. A new bedspread goes a long way toward changing the room. I popped online to check my options and then planned to check Goodwill and clearance sections. I got VERY lucky and found an awesome new Cars2 quilted bedspread at Walmart on the clearance rack for $15-- that's half the price of a new one! COST: $15

#3. When Caleb was a baby I decorated his room with children's books. I found a variety of books and -- don't die -- cut off the front covers and framed them in cheap wooden frames that I repainted to match his room. This made shifting to a different theme super easy! I pulled down the frames -- chastised myself for not dusting them more often -- cleaned them up and took out the book covers. I went online and found some awesome Cars 2 photos, asked Caleb which characters he wanted in his room and 30 minutes later he had five brand new, framed Cars2 photos on his wall. COST: a little bit of ink jet ink that dries up if you don't use it anyway!

#4. While I thought the room looked great, Caleb noticed that he couldn't see any of this cool new stuff once he was tucked in at night. Ok -- I can fix that. I found a terrific Cars2 poster (portrait angle) and positioned it on the wall to the side of his bed. The poster was $5. I considered buying a frame but it was $10 and I thought I could do better. I found 3M Command Strips for $2.50 Poster COST: $7.50

#5. Caleb wanted to new curtains. He didn't want a valance, like he had, but curtains that come down on both sides. Since his new bedspread includes a variety of shades of blue, I decided to shop for a solid color set of curtains, rather than spend more on the character curtains. I also figure, down the road when he changes his mind again, we might still be able to keep the curtains. I got very lucky on this one! I found solid blue tab curtains in like-new condition for $4. For curtain pulls I recovered the red ribbon that the quilt was wrapped in and added some additional Cars2 ribbon I bought at Walmart for $2.50. I sewed button holes and used industrial sized screws as pull holds, going along with the car-mechanic sort of element and available for free in my tool box. I feel certain I can find a suitable curtain rod for about $10. Total curtain, sash & rod COST: $16.50

#6. The light switch plate. Some time ago we had put a Thomas the Tank Engine light switch plate in Caleb's room. It never really matched anything and it has been ages since Thomas was his favorite toy. I bought a plain white switch plate for $0.37 and a package of Cars2 stickers for $1. I placed the stickers in an overlapping arrangement completely covering the light switch plate and decopaged the top. After installing it on the wall, I added two more stickers to cover the screws. Custom made Cars2 light switch plate COST: $1.50 (inc. tax)

#7. A pillow sham to match the bedspread. While at Goodwill I found a dark navy blue pillow sham that matches the darkest blue in the bedspread. I also found a Cars Disney t-shirt with a large image of Lighting McQueen (main character in the Cars movies). The image was bright and clear and in perfect condition. Each item was $1.99. I cut out the character and hand stitched it onto the pillow sham. Cars2 Pillow Sham COST: $4.00

Total cost to make over Caleb's room in two days : $44.50

Cost of Caleb saying Thank You and enjoying the look of his room - Priceless!

placing the child in the midst of them

Caleb followed along in the prayer book and in the hymnal during the service today. I’m not sure how he knew to grab the prayer book, turn to page 355 and begin. Perhaps L told him. But as he sang along with “O love, how deep, how broad, how high”, she and I looked at each other and at him with amazed and happy looks.

After the service was over, he filed out with everyone else to shake Father Jody’s hand. Today was Jody’s first day as rector, and perhaps Caleb wanted to put him through his paces. I am told that Caleb asked him whether it is the case that the Eucharistic wine was, in fact, the blood of Jesus, and also whether by drinking it we were given eternal life.

Caleb’s inquisitiveness—and that of all children who ask spiritual question—ought to encourage parents to have faith despite frustration. Make no mistake: bringing your kids to church is a slow and tedious martyrdom. And it is a trial, too, for those who sit near them. Children are a crimp on the “worship experience.” Caleb, for example, has been known to talk and chatter through the entire service—including the sermon, completely oblivious to the world around him. Another little girl in our church managed to roll a dime four pews forward during the service last Sunday. And I spent one service a few months ago being eyed by pew-climbing spy in the form of Clone Wars’ General Grievous in the hands of a little boy. Oh, the disciples weren’t acting uncharacteristically when they turned the children aside. They were acting like adults engaged in the serious business of turning the tables on tyrant Rome. Children were a distraction.

Nevertheless, Caleb and the rest are listening. I don’t know how they are listening. When I was a child I remember attending a revival meeting in the evening with my parents. We attended a Christian church, where “Christian” is a frontier denomination whose particulars no doubt cluster about the usual ones: mode of worship, belief in free will, or a question about the height of the wall that separates who is out and who in. At any rate, it was quite hot and dark in the room, and the pastor was leading his audience on for long minutes after he’d adopted a concluding key a half-hour before. I was lying down on the red cloth of a pew and the man yells out, “Raise your hand if you are ready! Raise your hand!” And so I did. “Look at that kid back there raising his hand,” he said, to general guffaws. Kids are, like I was, trying to figure this whole thing out. They’re ready to be adults, but are naïve enough to ask or act at times when the adults all know no action is required.