Caleb is here!

It is hard to describe the extraordinary and domestic range of the emotions of the last 24 hours. Suffice to say that last night we took the Grandparents out to the beach. The tide was out, and Gramma and Kara couldn't help but find dozens of sand dollars everywhere they looked. On the way back, we made plans to have a game night the following evening -- and then it started. "Um...honey," said Lynn-nore as we pulled away from the beach, "I think we might be going to the hospital tonight." The contractions came very quickly, and by the time we got home, we had already summoned her parents back to the house, had talked to the midwife (Pat was on duty, the same person who delivered Kara) and everyone was clean. I could feel the adrenaline kicking in, my brain fussing to remember benign, domestic details while also grappling with the real impact of the situation. This is it. Wow, is this going to be hard. I hope it isn't too much for Lynn-nore. Are we ready for this? We can't wait to see him. Both of us were scared to death and full of joy against the coming future. I hope I can be of some help to Lynn-nore. I pray, God, don't let labor be too painful for her. Have mercy upon us, O Lord, and upon our son. "..that he gave his one and only son..." Kara was more calm than any of us. When Lynn-nore's Mom and Dad arrived back at the apartment, she was clean and in her jammies, ready with books for Gramma. "Bye honey," said Lynn-nore, bending to kiss her. "Next time you see us, you might be seeing your baby brother!" Kara was more interested in Gramma getting started on Jungle Book.

The raw details of the rest I will leave out. War stories are best left to those who fought the battle. I can say that we arrived at the hospital at 8pm, and that it was over at 12:47am. I can say that Lynn-nore did great and was very brave; that God did have mercy and didn't make her go into the wee hours of the morning; that she was already up and walking around a few hours later. I can also say that I was more helpful overall this time, but that is where it ends. Let me just say, there are moments where - being a guy - you feel like an alien. For example. Lynn-nore and Pat, both hands clasped, staring straight at each other, deeply involved in breathing - Pat walking Lynn-nore through a contraction that curls her toes and makes her knees shiver. They are their own universe, nothing else exists. Behind them, a nurse stands straight and quiet, ready to respond to any request. Three women, and I, the only man in the room, can do nothing and can add nothing. Now this really isn't the point, understand. It is stupid to whine about being useless, so don't hear me that way. I am not whining. I am proud to be useless for an hour or more if I can be useful (onesimus) to my wife for 2 minutes. This is the guy experience, though. We do not intuit the pain or the breathing, the pressure and the release, the drop of a baby nor the courage that goes into labor. We may approach ridiculously enthusiastic fandom, but we are always fans. Men look at women looking at labor the way women look at men looking at the work of their hands with the absolute attention of blood, DNA, soul.

Caleb came very quickly. Lynn-nore was induced at 12:10 or so, and he crowned so fast that he actually bruised his own forehead, nor did his head come out stretched and obling from the experience. Further, unlike his sister, Caleb did not cry or flail around. He coos and smacks, but he seems interested in letting the world talk to him about itself first. He was able to eat, and the relief and elation coming from Lynn-nore's face as she held him was like scales falling from the eyes. The room smelled sour and antiseptic, nurses came and did things, we just put our faces next to his and didn't care. Our breaths all mingled together. God made a knot.

I made it home, Lynn-nore and baby finally being tucked into their places, at 3am. The Grandparents left for their lodgings, and I went upstairs. Same stairs. Everything orangish yellow in the light squinting. Same everything, like a tomb opened up, same clothes and toys and stuff. I went in and kissed Kara, then went to sleep.

She woke up at 7:30am. We made it back to the hospital around noon, and I took 10 minutes of the sweetest video. Kara asked to hold Caleb, and Mommy obliged. She did so well with him. She is so interested in him - even to buzzing around him annoyingly when he cries, or when Lynn-nore is trying to change him. She touches his face, his ears, his fingers. "Hello baby Caleb," she says. "I love you," she says. The rest of today is meaningless, aside from the Tucker family visiting us. So wonderful to see them. All the girls were feeling a little sick, so Mike wound up holding him the whole time. How often does that happen? I'm fading now. Final stats: 7lbs 10oz; 21" long.