Words of Wisdom

Life with a newborn includes wonderful moments of gazing at your little baby and considering the wonderment of how amazing our God is that He creates each person uniquely. Likewise, it includes moments of passing by a mirror in the middle of the night and not actually recognizing the tired shred of humanity that is gazing back! Each day begins with the words "I'm so tired" dragging out of my lips with the actual thought behind them being 'HELP! I can't face it today' But reality kicks in about the time my feet hit the floor and the thought "Here goes!" shows up. I change a diaper or kiss a Big Girl face and somehow begin what is now the new routine of my morning.

This morning I was dragging. Things were moving pretty slow with no sign of picking up speed. And then the phone rang. Funny how that can change a day, a week, a life... Anyway, the phone rang and the dear woman from church who is bringing us a meal for this evening was explaining to me how she was planning on being on my doorstep in an hour! She was giving me times and temps for how to warm it up this evening and all I could think was 'I'm still in my JAMMIES and she's gonna be here WHEN?!' I thanked her and told her it was fine (lying! - I'll have to work on that!) and that I'd see her in about an hour. We hung up.

The phone rang a moment later and it was my Mom. Lovely, of course I'd want to talk with her, but the clock is ticking on my day and talking to Mom does not get the kitchen cleaned up, the beds made or me clean. BUT, it out ranks the others and so we chat, with some voice in the back of my mind going - 'Here's my good excuse. When our friend arrives I'll simply explain away my house and lack of personal hygiene with the words, 'My Mom called.' as if the entire morning and every possible opportunity to be clean and have a clean home were somehow directly related to a 15 minute long distance call. Crazy as it was, I still knew the excuse would work. So, I sat down to chat with Mom, and then a really crazy thing happened - multi-tasking kicked in. I thought, 'Hey, I'll just move a few of Kara's toys... and the car seat and why not wipe off the counters and wash a few dishes, while we chat.'

And so, I began to clean up and things began to take shape. Little by little the downstairs was starting to look like civilized people live here. And here come the words of wisdom... as I was cleaning up I commented to my mom, in jest, that it was "her fault" that I was doing all of this! Had she not established such a clean standard of living in my childhood, I'd have been happy opening my door and welcoming someone into my disaster area! She answered, and here's where the wisdom came in...

She told me that no, in fact, it was not her fault, but that I was simply showing who I was. 'Huh? What does that mean?', I thought. She said my desire to have a clean place and to show this church friend that my home is clean at 11am, was my way of showing her something of who I am, what is a priority to me, how I like to live and present myself. It was not untrue to be cleaning in preparation for her dropping by, it was exactly as I am - a person who likes my home to be clean when people come over. This is not false or a misrepresentation of my otherwise slovenly living - this is me. This is not simply an extension of her (my Mom) or her house, this is my choice and my desire for my life and for me. What a wild thought! My home and presentation as an extension of myself, not some external pressure or expectation, but rather my own self presenting itself through my stewardship of my things.

Over the years, Thom has often asked me, when I express the stress of housekeeping, "who's holding a gun to your head to make you feel like you have to do things a certain way?!" Wow ! I guess the answer is me, it's not a gun, I like it this way and I should stop complaining!

I'm sure glad Mom called this morning!