Parents Say the Darndest Things

Over the last eight years I've heard myself say some pretty ridiculous things, but this past Sunday was the best, of late.

We were driving home from church. We had run through McDonald's on the way home. I turned around to check on the kids when I caught myself saying this gem:

"Caleb, Don't put the chicken nugget in your sock!!"

It never ceases to amaze me what the kids will come up with. In fact, as I'm writing this, Caleb came running in from the living room saying "I've made a big mess. Come Mommy. Come fix it. I've made a BIG mess." Imagining a blueberry breakfast bar speared into the carpet I proactively approached the situation with a wet paper towel only to discover all of my clean folded laundry inverted onto the floor. "See Mommy I've made a BIG mess." "Caleb, don't play in the laundry." This is what I said to him as I put it all back into the laundry basket, during which time he says "Can I play in it now?" Like somehow I'm going to say "Sure, jump on in. I don't know why I clean this stuff anyhow?" " No, Caleb, you cannot play in the laundry."

A friend of mine without children recently described to me how she handles bedtime when she babysits for her nieces and nephews. She has an abundance of comforters she has purchased over the years and she basically lays them all over her living room floor. Each kid gets a pillow and a blanket to sleep under and they refer to the whole thing as making a nest.

That's what I want. Forget furniture. Forget carpets. I'm going to throw down every blanket I can find and give up. We'll eat there. We'll sleep there and whenever anyone comes over we'll shove the whole thing into the shower behind the shower curtain. And I'll come up with something witty to say without even thinking.

Like "Don't use the shower, our beds are in there." And it'll all make sense!