I want a new job

Mother's aren't allowed to quit. Well, technically some do, you can tell by the condition of their home, but it's seriously frowned upon. My mother is a superb housecleaner and homemaker. Anyone who's ever been to her home now or in the past will tell you. The house never looked like two kids lived there. It also never looked like she took a day off, a moment's rest, or, God-forbid -- a nap!

I am, sadly, not my mother. I frequently want to run screaming from the duties of housework. I want nothing more than to abandon my post as cook, clothes washer and cleaner of all things bodily function related.

At this very instant, I have abandoned my job of cleaning the carpet in my son's room. I sorted and picked up the toys. I cleared off the carpet. I got out the carpet cleaner (thanks Mom for the Bissell 2X Heat machine, thingy that works wonders on my carpet!). I cleaned his carpet. Why you ask? Why his room and no others -- well, as far as I know, no one else woke up in the middle of the night and peed all over their room because they lost their way to the bathroom down the hall. So, why did I stop? Oh, that'd be because as I was inverting the dirty water into the downstairs toilet -- I, um, missed. Not entirely, but enough. Enough to remind me of how often I deal with things that other people in this house refuse to touch.

Dog pee.
Sheets with puke on them.
Kid pee.
Kid poop.
Kid puke.
Kid hair with kid puke in it.
Dog food.
Strange items that have been in the refridgerator for so long they're nearly unrecognizable.

Therefore, I want a new job. One that does not involve gross things. One where things stay clean. One where someone else cleans everything.

I want a mom. I want MY mom. I want her to live her and pick up after ME. I want someone else to be in charge of gross things.

Children have no idea how good they have it. Even my children!